HIM
by ByThePrecursors
Summary: Alright, what happens when you fall in love with a guy from the goth crowd? Accept it and live with it, right? Well then, what do you do if he loses his memory? [AkuRoku]I'm not good at summaries.
1. prologue

**Midna Twilight**: Hello, and welcome to my first fanfiction! To those who have read my poem for our beloved nobody, Axel, you know that I think pretty darkly. Well, I decided to lighten up a bit for my first try at a story! Now I do believe that I have to do a disclaimer, right? Zexion, will you do the honors? 

**Zexion**: Midna Twilight does not own kingdom Hearts or the characters. She does own the plot and Axel's younger sister though. Whoopie. Yay. Can I have a smoke now?

**Midna**: Not here.

**Zexion**: Whatever.

_**Warning: This story contains mild language and AkuRoku. Excuse me, thats Axel Roxas boy love. If you don't like that, then you can kindly go to another story. Now, to the fans of AkuRoku, read on!**_

**H.I.M**

You know, most people wake up to an alarm clock. Or, maybe someone gently wakes them up. Me? I get dog's nose in my eye. It's not a pleasant feeling. Damn, it's morning time already... Isn't it weird how the day never seems to ened, but the night never lasts?

I push my dog, Red, away and try to focus my eyes. Not one speck of light was in the room and it was still too early to know what time it was. I tried to stretch out, yawning, but that ended in failure as I fell off the small sofa that I sleep on every night. I mumbled random curses because my covers were on the nasty floor. Just then, the stupid dog jumped on me and wanted to play. Did he not seee that I was in a bad mood? Then he wanted to jump on me? It's not like it was a little dog, but this was a damn german shephard!

Right before I set him on fire, I heard footsteps on the stairs. I knew then that any chance of sleep was over. The dog decided to leave me alone and went towards the figure on the stairs, its tail still wagging.

"Dammit Axel! Did you have a party down here? It looks a mess!" I looked at the person now at the bottom of the steps. My older brother, tall and slender, leaned against the railing. He looked at the living room/dining room/ my bedroom and shook his head. I looked around also. The small, but cozy room was a total mess as usual, but it wasn't me this time. Did Reno want to hear that? Hell. No.

"I'm having someone over today for lunch. Why'd it have to be like this today? Axel did you sleep on the floor? You better wash them damn covers. Did you walk Red yet? Is your..." After awhile, in the mornings, I learned to tune out his morning ramblings. Thank goodness he was only like this in the morning.

Still drowsy, I faced my harping brother. The crimson haired man had that "you know better" look on his face. Although I'm nineteen, and legal to the world I might add, my brother still thought I was a child. He was in his pajamas, a plain shirt with blue shorts and white socks, and had his hair up in a wild low ponytail. I smirked and he smirked back. Morning ramblings offically over.

"Hey Reno, yes Reno, love you too Reno." I said, him mumbling something like "smart-ass" as I ran up the stairs. He yelled up after me, "I'm cooking pancakes!" as I was finally up the stairs.

I stood in the hallway and opened the storage closet. Inside was my clothes, shoes and other useless things. I didn't exactly have a bedroom because it was a two bedroom house and three people living in it. Of course, I'm the ass that's roomless. That's so ironic. Heh.

I sighed as I looked at the clothes I layed out. A black shirt that had flames on the edge and khakis that were too short to be called pants anymore. I took off the shirt I was-- wait. I'm not giving you a peepshow. Get out so I can dress!

Humming a tune, I walked out of the storage room fully clothed (took my shower last night) and headed down to my sister's room. The light was on and she was writing in a book. The thin girl (I'm thinner that her because I hardly eat) was dressed in a blue shirt and a pair of jeans that she wore a few days ago. I was amazed at how tranquil she was. I wanted to see how quick I could make her angry.

"Hey Torrey, what's up? Writing about your BOYFRIEND?" I said, holding back a snicker when her face turned pink. "No! And Marly is not my boyfriend!" she replied, standing up. Her book collasped on the floor and opened revealing a picture of that certain brown haired boy. Her blush turned a deep red. I laughed as she screamed at the top of her lungs, "Get the hell out of my room!"

Alright, Torrey is my younger sister. She's only sixteen and attending high school. She only has one friend, this guy named Marluxia. It is so obvious that she likes him, but she won't tell him. She even invited him over here once, and she scrubbed the place was spotless before he got here. I just like teasing her.

I walked from her room while dodging pillows -of fury- and made my way down the stairs. The house smelled like dog and pancakes. Red shook his tail and ran towards me. My brother had set the table up for us to eat. "Yummy." I sarcastically said as I pet the dog. I quicly waled to the table and sat down while pushing the plate away in one smooth motion.

"Axel, you have to eat. Breakfast his the greatest meal of the day, it will help you grow big," Reno struck a mighty pose. " and strong!" another pose. He then started to poke me with a fork.

"I'm eating out with Demyx and Zexion for breakfast." I grumbled annoyed because of the poking.

"Oh. Okay. Have fun." he then said, "Could've told me before a took the extra step and put chocolate chips in yours..." he took the pancakes in front of me in his hand. I stood up and waled over to the living room mirrior. It was cracked in the center, but no one bothered to throw it out just yet. God! My hair was a mess. It was spikey, like it always is in the morning. I grabbed a comb that was placed on the table the mirror was resting on and began to comb it back. When I was done, my hair was still spikey, just not sitting up unruly. I winked at my reflection.

"Hey, Axel! It's 7:42! Don't you think you should get going?" Reno shouted from the kitchen. I glanced at the watch I had on. It was 7:42. Our breakfast date is at 7:45.

"Damn, I am late. See ya Reno, see ya squirt!" After I yelled up the stairs to my little sister, I rushed out the front door with my bookbag slung over my shoulder.

It was a beautiful Saturday morning, and I had to hurry back to collegeright after I eat breakfast with my best friends, Demyx and Zexion. Ignoring any people that might be saying hello as I walked past them, I finally got to the bus stop. I looked at the sky and happened to notice that the sky was a crisp blue with fluffy clouds floating by. The streetes were dirty and so were the stairs around here, but I don'y care. told Demyx to tell me where to meet him, but he never told me. I glanced at my watch again. It was now 7:48. Now I was late and hopefully, Demyx wouldn't kill me.

Afer a short wait, the bus came. As I got on it my cell phone vibtared and played 'Goody Two Shoes'. That was Demyx calling me. I took it out and flipped it open.

"Damn you Axel! Where the HELL are you?" a voice boomed from the phone, which attracted attention.

"Oh Demyx, you never told me where to meet you." I said with a heavy sigh. Demyx only cursed when he was angry.

"Oh. At Don's Diner of course." Demyx said. I grinned to myself.

"Zexion's there, right?" my friend huffed.

"Yeah, Zexy's here, and he's already on his third cigarette. Hurry, out train leaves at 9:00." I looked at my phone screen after a lond silence. Call Ended.

"Demyx, learn to quit." I rode the bus awhile, but the stop I had to get off at wasn't very far. Bleh. The streets of Philede. It was a really dirty place to live, but the housing was cheap, so it was worth it. Soon, I got off the bus, right in front of Don's Diner. Unlike the rest of the street, the front off the diner was swept and tended to. By the diner stood Zexion with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth and Demyx fussing at him.

"Zexy! It's not good for you!" the brunette complained. Zexion shrugged.

"So?"

Zexion had a bad habit of smoking since he was sixteen. He got me into it for a whole year, but then Reno found out. I swore to never see him so angry again, so I quit.

I walked over to the two and patted Demyx on the head. He tugged on his green hoodie. "It's no use. We've been trying for two years, buthe never stopped. Let it go." I laughed when he pouted and his face flushed red in embarrassment. Zexion purposely blew smoke in our faces. I inhaled the smell easily, but Demyx covered his nose.

"It smells discusting. What is that? A new brand?" he whined.

"Newport, non-lite. You're lucky that I quit. Best one out of two." I said. Demyx nodded, still covering his nose.

Demyx and Zexion. They've been friends since my mother died and Reno took her place. I was only seven then. I still remember it as if it was yesterday.

**"_Axel, Torrey-honey! Get up! It's time for school." a woman with long red hair smiled._**

**_"I'll be right there, mom!" Torrey responded._**

**_"Five more minutes..." Axel groaned, pulling the white sheets over his head to block the lights._**

**_"Come on Axel. It's time to get an education. You can't get anything done in Philede without an education." she got no response. The woman then smirked. "Reno is making pancakes."_**

**_"Is it chocolate chip?"_**

**_"I'll see what I can do."_**

**_"Then I'm up!" the young boy nearly bounced out of the bed he rested in._**

**_"Okay Axel, don't hurt yourself."_**

Those were the good days. A few weeks later, she was hit by a drunk driver on the way home from work. Demyx saw the accident on television and talked to me the next day. Zexion just seemed to always follow him around. Back then, Zexion was nicer, shyer then he is now. We got used to each other's company and soon, you never saw us apart. We were inseparable. Then there was now. We went to the same college. My major is math, Demyx wants to becom a history teacher, and Zexion was just tagging along like he always did. Just like my mother said, you can't get anything done in Philede unless you have a good education.

Zexion threw his cigarette on the ground, smashing with his dirty converses. "I'm done today. DONE." he announced.

"Thank you. Now we can go inside. I'm starving." Demyx sighed in relief, opening the door to the diner. At this place, the service was surprizingly good to be in such a horrible area. I mean, Uptown Philede was the worst. There were more drug busts and killings around here than Underground, and that place was where the worst people live.

When we walked in, a guy with crystal blue eyes and dirty blonde hair stood there. He had a sun kissed tan, and had on a clean pink apron that said "Jennifer". "Hi, welcome to Don's Diner! My name is is Roxas and I will be your waiter for this visit!" What they say is routine. No doubt taht if they got the script wrong there would be pay deduction. I mean, he was obviously forcing a smile. Zexion seemed like he noticed, but Demyx didn't.

"Table for three, three adults." he said, just as cheerfullt as Roxas.

It filled me with a certain pride to be called an adult. I was referred to as a child at home by Reno, who was only thirty-five. But being over eighteen means freedom. You could move oit if you wanted to, and I should, but I won't.

Roxas the waiter lead us to our table near the window. I didn't really care for the view of the dirty outside. Zexion was eyeing the waiter behind me while Demyx nearly skipped behind the waiter. Finally we took a seat. Roxas began reading from the script once more.

"These are your seats. Now that you are seated, would you like something to drink?" I looked at Demyx as he quickly replied.  
"One latte with sugar and cream, one coffee..." he looked at me. I nodded. "...straight black and a water for our friend Zexion."

"Okay, I will be back in a jiffy," his right eye twitched. "and a half!" I really think that Roxas guy hates his job. I would too, all that remembering for minimum wage. I could see it as a half time job, though.

That's when Zexion sighed. He was only like this when something was on his mind. I was watching Roxas skate away on his rollerskates. Something was vaguely familiar about that Roxas kid. I feel as though I've met him before, but I don't quite remember. It was a weird feeling.

"Doesn't something feel a bit weird about that Roxas kid?" Zexion asked. Demyx looked at him, shrugging.

"Doesn't ring a bell to me."

"Me either. But I can't help feeling something when around him. Like deja vu." I said, noticing that Roxas was coming back with a tray in his hand, holding our drinks. He set the tray down on our table and gave us our specific orders.

"Everyone happy? If so, please give me your names so I can set them with each order." the blonde said, sighing afterwards. He took out a notepad and a pen that said "Don's Diner".

"The name's Axel." I said, looking in my drink for any undesireables. Roxas' mouth dropped open. He mumbled something under his breath, but his fake smile quickly came back.

"What'll you have, Axel?" Roxas said.

"Chocolate chip pancakes with extra syrup. Nothing on the side."

"Just how you used to like it..." Roxas mumbled, writing down the order.

"Excuse me?" Axel asked. I heard what he said and I needed to question it. He shook his head. "Do I know you?" I pressed on. The blonde's face blushed a bright red as he slammed his notebook and stormed off.

"That was weird." Demyx said after an awkward moment. Zexion nodded in agreement. "What was all that about?"

"I... think we've met before. But I'm sure I don't know him. I don't really believe in past lives, either." I scratched the back of my head. That really was weird. He seemed almost...thrown off when I asked him a simple question. And during all of this, Zexion just drank his water quietly.

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**Midna**: And that was the prologue!

**Axel**: That was interesting... and why is my little sister in love with that flower loving freak?

**Midna**: No reason (wink). Just thought it would be funny.

Now here's for the preview! YAY! WHOO! YEAH! Heh, heh, heh... right. Here it is.

**Roxas blinked at me. He looked like nothing had happened on Saturday.**

**"Where have I seen you before?"**

**"Sure. I knew an Axel. Way back when. Now it's over and I'll never see him again. Nothing too special."**

**Midna**: Until next time!

**Axel**: See ya! Can I have those yogos yet...?

**Midna**: No.


	2. Freak on a Leash

**Midna Twilight**: Hello, and welcome to chapter two! I know that the first chapter was kinda rushed... maybe I should do it over again...? This chapter, as I was told, was a little bit better than the first, and a bit slower. I think that this story actually has promise! Also, I don't think that this can exceed twelve chapters. To those that like long stories, sorry. Usually I can never get past chapter two. 

**Zexion**: This crazy girl does not own Kingdom Hearts or any characters within it. She does own the plot, however, and Axel's younger sister.

**Midna**: I had Sephiroth planned for today.

**Zexion**: He called me to say he couldn't come here today.

**Midna**: Oh.

**Zexion**: ...Can I go to sleep now?

**Midna**: Yeah, you go to sleep like the pathetic moo-cow you are!

**Zexion**: Whatever.

_**WARNING! This chapter contains language that some might not approve of and AkuRoku. If you don't like it, either read on or leave. Either doesn't matter. The fans of AkuRoku, move on, please!**_

_ICANTBELIEVETHATYOUWOULDEVERREADONEOFMYSTORIESBUTIREALLYDON'TUNDERSTANDWHYYOUWOULDTRYTOREADTHIS_

**H.I.M**

**Chapter One: Freak On A Leash**

I stared at the plate of food that was placed in front of me. It was bacon and eggs set into a smile. I absently set them into a frown. My brother, Sora watched me carefully as his "best friend" Riku set food in front of him. I was the only one that knew they were more than just friends. They were together since they were in tenth grade. What a strong relantionship. I rolled my eyes in discust.

"You have to eat something, Roxas." he said in that low, but somehow feminine voice. He said it quietly, not for Sora to hear. I looked at him from the corner of my eye. I gave a small smile. I bitterly replied,

"You're more mother to me than my actual mother. What a bitch." I added the last part under my breath, though Sora was close enough to hear it.

"DON'T TALK ABOUT MOTHER THAT WAY!" he shouted. I just laughed. I laughed as my own blood screamed at me. Riku urged him to sit back down. "I DON'T CARE WHAT HAPPENED IN THE PAST! THIS IS NOW! THIS IS NOW, ROXAS!" My eyes snapped open when he said that.

"DON'T YOU DARE TALK ABOUT ME! YOU'RE THE ONE THAT FUCKED IT ALL UP!" I screamed. I felt tears come on, and I stood up, quaking.

"Why would you say something like that, Sora?" Riku asked him. He was the oldest of us, and the most mild tempered. He was always calm, and it pissed me off. I threw the plate of food at Sora, and stormed to the front door and out. "He's still sensitive."

"He shouldn't be so uptight. Everyone around him was affected when it happened. Even me..." The chesnut eyed boy wiped a little egg yolk off his face. He then tasted it. "Eww. Sunny side up."

I threw away my past. Long ago, about five years ago, I threw eveything I had, my mother, my school life, my love. I met my love in my first class in high school. He was a goth, smoking in between every class and setting things on fire. For a while, I joined the goths, and I smoked and drinked... got high. My life went downhill from there. My mother disapproved of my behavior and I... I... I killed her. He urged me. My love. Sora and the other goths were the only people who knew and never told everyone else after I begged them. I knew Sora didn't want me to go to prison. My deal with him is to never see him again. So here I am. Four years later. Throwing things at people. Venting anger, pain, sorrow.

Every morning was like that. Sora and I owned our own apartment, and sometimes Riku "slept" over. I would make a snide remark after Riku gave me his cooked food. Sora would yell at me and me back. Then I'd throw something and storm off, on the brink of tears. I don't know what to do. I can't help but think and feel as though a part of me died.

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"Yo, Roxas!" I turned my head. My blue eyes looked tiredly at the female that called me. I rolled my eyes as she ran up to me. She was dressed in a miniskirt that had chains that was hooked on her belt and multiple zippers. She had on a black shirt with a long fishnet shirt over it. "How was your weekend? I went over to my preppy cousin's house. She was soo dressed in white and pink! And now she has me talking like her! OMG, its contagious! I have to get away from you! See ya!" she then ran away.

I watched as she ran down the halls of Philede Community College. My shoulders were hunched, legs dragging slowly as I paced down to my dorm room. We had the weekend off, and I spent it with Sora. I probably blew it going back.

I just came from my half time job at this corner place called Don's Diner. Even I can't believe what happened earlier. I saw this man, red hair, that said his name was Axel. He liked chocolate chip pancakes and was dressed in a shirt that had fire on it. Sure, I knew an Axel once. Now it's over and I won't see him again. Nothing too special. Lea. He hated him name and insisted that he was called Axel. I can't believe he recognized me.

I took out my key and put it into the hole, turning it. I turned the knob and opened the door. The dorm room was medium sized, and there were two beds. On the left side, a guy with an black hair with a silver streak pulled back in a ponytail was sitting crosslegged on his bed. His eyepatch was resting upon his right eye, and he was singing horribly off key to a KoRn song. I winced as I stepped in and closed the door behind me.

"Xigbar." I said, but he continued to sing off key. "XIGBAR!" I then shouted. He raised his hand at me and then continued to sing. I gave a heavy sigh and threw my bookbag down on my bed, my body quickly following. My eyes bore into the white ceiling as I listened to the rest of the song he was singing.

"Sometimes I cannot take this place. Sometimes it's my life I can taste. Sometimes I cannot feel my face. You'll never see me fall from grace." he then sat up and continued to sing louder. "Something takes apart of me! You and I were meant to be! A cheap fuck for me to lay! Something takes apart of me!" he then removed this earphones, looking at me.

"Man, dude. You look like shit! Did something happen at home?" he laughed, pulling at his spiked necklace. I flipped the bird at him, and he sucked his teeth. "Okay, I'll take that as a yes." he sighed, ready to put his earphones back on, but I sat up, catching his attention.

"I saw Axel today." I could trust this guy. He was nineteen at least. We went to high school together, he was apart of the goth crowd, so we hung out a lot. He didn't really take to alchohol, but he liked drugs and cigarettes.

"Oh... Lea. At your job or something?" I nodded. He shook his head. "How's his memory going?" Xigbar asked, fingering his pack of cigarettes.

"Still doesn't remember anything. I can tell he had deja vu, though. So in other words, fine. It's better he doesn't remember anyway." I said, a hint of sadness flowing in the undertone of the words.

"Yeah. If you want, you can get one of these. It'll help." Xigbar held up the pack of cigarettes.

"Thanks. But I rather hit it." I said, shaking my head.

"Alright. How strong?" he asked me. I looked at him, my face saying 'as strong as you got'. "O...kay. Coke it is." He reached in his pocket and took out a white substance that was secure in a ziplock bag. He tossed it over to me and I smiled.

"Thanks." but Xigbar just frowned, watching as I rolled it into paper and began to snort.

"Y'know, Roxas. That's gonna have to stop soon." I looked up at him, but my vision was going a bit blurry. I said to him,

"I know. But I can't stop. To much to forget." and nothing else was said.

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**Midna**: Yo, everyone! That was chapter one! Roxas really isn't based off of anyone I closely know. Axel is me. Demyx is my best friend.

**Xigbar**: Who am I based off of?

**Midna**: Yourself.

**Xigbar**: YAY! Wait a minute... This character isn't me!

**Midna**: Close enough. (to crowd) Alright. This story isn't coming out to be as light-hearted as I wanted it to be. Next time, I promise.

_Preview:_

_"Hey! It's you! From earlier!"_

_"What is he doing here?_

_"Roxas?"_

**Midna and Xigbar**: Until next time! JA NE!


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